Virgil Bowlin balances the care of his music, children, and mother. Ultimately navigating being a caregiver across different generations.

Virgil’s days are filled with melodies and caregiving, not only for his children and students but also for his mother, Margaret Bowlin.

Bowlin's life has always been intertwined with music. As a dedicated musician and music teacher, his music is more than just a collection of notes; it's a profound medium of connection. Music is deeply personal for Virgil, as it forms the cornerstone of his relationship with his mother.

His mother and father both taught him how to play guitar and piano. From there, Virgil grew his skills and expanded his ability to play other instruments. As Virgil grew up into his adolescence, he continued to practice music.

“My mom and dad were musicians, and they had played in bands, and we had a family band together from when I was about eight years old,” Virgil said.

Pursuing his passion, Virgil became a music teacher, dedicating his life to imparting the same love for music that his parents had instilled in him.

Virgil's studio, where he records songs and teaches music lessons, sits on the same property as his childhood home. The former house he grew up in sits right next to the studio.

The studio is a place of caregiving. A second home for Virgil, his children, Margaret, and his students. During lessons, Margaret will attend and listen, sing along to the melodies, or chime in on correcting students tune on the piano.

In addition to teaching music lessons, Virgil is employed at his church, Jellico Creek Baptist Church on the music staff arranging the music and playing piano. He also tunes pianos in the Whitley County area, and teaches every Thursday at the Kentucky School of Bluegrass and Traditional Music in Hyden, Ky.

Virgil’s day-to-day schedule involves balancing teaching, raising his kids, and taking care of his mother. Bowlin is one of the 60 million Americans who belong to what’s known as “The Sandwich Generation.” That is roughly 23% of U.S. adults.

A common struggle among those in the sandwich generation is a lack of time. As the demand of care rises for aging parents, time becomes more valuable. Chapters Health System

The Sandwich Generation refers to “…adults who have a parent aged 65 or older and are either raising at least one child younger than 18 or providing financial support to an adult child,” according to the Pew Research Center.

The term was created in 1981 by Dorothy Miller and Elaine Brody. It was first presented to social workers and gerontologists, professionals who study aging. At the time, the generation in the middle was Baby Boomers. Today, the sandwich generation mostly consists of Generation Xers. As time moves forward, the sandwich generation population is expected to increase. By 2030 there is estimated to be more than 70 million Americans above the age of 65. Chapters Health System

Virgil, 51, is in the most common age of sandwich generation adults. With six children, three being under 18, on top of helping in the care of his mother, he falls into the generation and all of its characteristics.

There is a growing rise of adults in the sandwich generation due to the increasing life expectancy. This is leading to a longevity of care for aging parents that once wasn't present. Ultimately leaving many middle aged adults feeling squished between caring for their parents and raising their children.

Not only is the physical care a strain on some among the generation, but financial responsibilities as well. They face high cost with childcare, education, and eldercare such as nursing homes or medical expenses.

"About one in three sandwich caregivers (36%) are in a high burden care situation", according to Caring Across Generations.

Margaret, age 83, was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes when she was 19 years old. Now that she is older and can’t manage her blood sugar on her own, she also struggles with memory loss.

“There’s five of us that help watch her now because she can’t watch herself,” Virgil said.

Virgil and his wife, Dona, his brother David Bowlin and his wife, along with Margaret’s 80-year-old sister, all help to take care of her. Days consist of notifications multiple times a day with alerts on her blood sugar levels and reminding her to eat. Her blood glucose levels need to remain at an acceptable range of between 100-300.

“Low is the dangerous one for her…The low blood sugar can kill you that day, so it’s very dangerous,” Virgil said.

On top of the daily care of his mother, Virgil has to manage raising his six children. Although three of his children are over 18 and out of the house, he still has three who live at home.

Virgil has joint custody of his children with his previous wife and has them half of the week. His three youngest, Leah (17), Andrew (13), and Mica (10) were formerly homeschooled but now attend a local private school. Education is very important to Virgil, and he wants his kids to have to best opportunities possible.

“I talk to them every day,” Virgil said.

Although his youngest aren’t into music as much as their dad, the family enjoys singing karaoke or performing at church service.

It's very important for Virgil that his children attend church and learn about God. Whether it's assisting them in reading the Bible or playing Bible charades during family game night, Virgil is passionate about sharing his faith with his children.

Margaret has been on a steep decline for roughly seven years. She has breast cancer along with living with Type 1 Diabetes. She decided she did not want to have it treated in any medical way. Virgil supports her decision.

Margaret's strong faith in God is a constant in her life.

“The more mom’s health declines, the more she needs help doing things. It’s a lot like taking care of a younger child,” Virgil said.

Although each day is uncertain, Margaret has a support group like no other. Virgil said that the way mom is going, she could easily out live all of us.

For now, Virgil strives to make sure his mother is comfortable while managing his many jobs and fatherhood.